A simple change model

I want to introduce you to a model that I find useful to explain changing a behaviour or repeating pattern.  

It is called the Change Burger(TM)

The model is drawn like this to demonstrate an 'outside-in' approach to changing a thought or pattern of behaviour you don't like about yourself (for example).    You eat a burger 'outside-in' and get to the center bit last.  Here is an example of that approach might work with pattern changing:

Desired State - 'I want to feel more confident'  A feeling takes a bit of time to change so we will look at a way to 'act as if' you did feel confident.  What would be going on in the head and body of a person that did feel confident?

Body Approach - If you were acting as if you were a confident person, how would you talk, walk, stand...?  What sort of words would come out of your mouth and how would you say them?  Taking an 'outside-in' approach means that you now do those things as if you were a confident person. Treat it as an experiment and try a small behavioural change one bit at a time.  The Burger is made up of three parts that are all connected. Changing behaviour in one area will affect the other areas too - in other words, how you feel and what is happening in your head.

Head Approach - In your head are thoughts!  No surprise.  What are you saying to yourself about your own confidence?  Are you talking yourself out of situations by giving yourself a damn good mental kicking?  (I am soooo rubbish at these sort of things...)  A head approach (or one of them) means this.  It is hard to change all those negative thoughts into positive ones - so don't!  I would like you to simply count them in future. As you approach a situation that you feel un-confident in it, simply count how many times you talk to yourself negatively. This is part of an acceptance approach.  By noticing how often you are having these thoughts, you have now made a purely unconscious, doing it's own thing pattern become conscious. Once it is conscious (we are aware of it) we can do something about it.  

If we change our thought process, it affects our feelings and what our body will do - everything is connected.

That is the 'outside-in' approach to behavioural or pattern changing explained very briefly.  Hope that you found it useful?

Take care
Paul