How to communicate better

This blog is dedicated to a simple model that I came up with a few years ago. As far as I know with all the models I use, they are my own work. The problem is that people who do what I do for a living are literally steeped in self development models and ideas all the time... 

This tool is to help you to be heard, to communicate better overall.  It is called the H.E.A.R.D. model.   I have found it useful when coaching or training others around some core communication skills.  Here is a quick overview of the model itself.

H - Here.  Are you here?  Are you present?  Are you 'in the moment' or is your head in the last meeting or the one that you are about to go to afterwards.  This is the bare minimum - if you don't choose to be here, then don't bother with the rest of the model!

E - Emotions.  Are you emotionally intelligent?  Are you aware of your emotions and can use them effectively?  Are you able to manage your emotional hijack?  Do you know what your triggers are?  'Difficult' or important conversations can often trigger us to behave weirdly - don't you think?

A - Attend.  Paying attention to the other person and properly listening.  This takes some real effort to listen properly...not just active listening but attending to them.  The other person is your sole focus...

R - Respond.  Are you response - able?  Or do you just react.  Responding takes time because you consider what you are saying and are watchful to how it lands with the other person.  Taking time to notice and watch before you respond. React is when you just 'shoot from the lip'.  Taking time to listen involves not speaking or filling the silence.

D - Direction.  I don't always cover this part of the model as H.E.A.R. is a great start. This part is about having a purpose to the conversation, a flow. The ability to think in terms of starting well, managing the middle part and then closing well.  Using questions effectively.  Summarising, paraphrasing...


Take care,
Paul