Relaxed intelligence

Something has occurred to me recently...

I have been a trainer (officially) for 18 years! From customer service trainer, management development consultant (posh word for trainer) and freelance training consultant...  When I first started, I was a manic trainer. Couldn't do enough prep. Still, there would always be something that went 'wrong' during the event. I think, in fairness, I was trying too hard.  I know I used to get quite anxious before a course and feel funny in my tummy.

Then something happened. At some point I became relaxed!  I still do a lot of prep for my courses and I still have a funny feeling in my tummy. It is the same funny feeling but I now label it differently.  I am now anxious to do a good job and actually excited. In the early days, I was just anxious. 

I just wish I could remember when this feeling changed. I call it 'relaxed intelligence.'  This means that I can stay resourceful because I am relaxed.  When I feel relaxed, I become more emotionally intelligent.   The emotionally intelligence to me in the training room looks like this:

• The ability to remember up  to 14 delegate names within 10 minutes of the course starting
• The ability to listen properly so that I can refer back to what someone said at the beginning of the course
• The ability to relax and listen whilst receiving a tricky question so I actually hear it first time.
• The ability to know when to transmit information and when to give the group an activity that allows them to discuss what they are learning with each other
• The ability to not take offence when a delegate voices a disagreement with something I have said
• The ability to pick up the mood of the group without thinking about it.  When I am like this, I don't need to read the evaluation forms at the end of the course - I already know how it went.

When I am training new trainers or presenters, I tell them to not put themselves under pressure to be perfect straight away. I also tell about 'relaxed intelligence' but tell them it will happen to them when they have enough experience. There is no short cut to experience.  Clients used to ask, 'Can you do a train the trainer course in two days?'  I used to say yes because I needed the work! The reality is that you never stop learning.  In two days, you can learn some basic skills but after that, it is down to experience.  We all need to go out there and make lots of mistakes and then eventually, we will get to a level of relaxed intelligence.

Take care

Paul