Am I being a bit wet?

I have been training 'feedback skills' for many years.  I would go so far as to say that I am pretty good at it now.   An integral part of being a trained coach, is to be able to give feedback.  There are a few simple rules that I would like to share with you which are below.  I am beginning to wonder whether I have actually been passing on anything useful over the last few years.  Reason?  I don't see other people do it when they give feedback. 

Here are the few simple rules I have cobbled together during coaching practice and training:

1. Let them know what is about to happen 'Do you have ten minutes?' 'Can we discuss this morning's team meeting that you ran?'  'Are you open to feedback?' 
2. Focus their brain 'How do you think the meeting went from your point of view?'
3. Get their opinion on their own performance before giving your comments.  It is easy to say, 'You did this well, or you did this not so well...'  Try instead/as well as 'How do you think you did?'    THEN, wait for their opinion before launching into your own. 
4. Listen to their own version of what occurred and then you add, modify, augment, agree as necessary...

Thoughts...

In my experience, people often know what they have done well or could have done better.  Giving them a chance to tell you first is a more honourable and elegant way of doing feedback - don't you think? 

Then, why oh why, do I never see it?!?  Maybe I am being too soft or a bit wet????

Anyhow, moan over.

Take care
Paul